You just never know...

Hi.

Hope you are well.


Writing, Water Skiing and Motorcycling

They're similar, you know.

Once you're up and running, they're all easy and fun.  The only hard parts are starting, turning and stopping.

Not sure how to begin this blog. 
Not sure where to make the turns. 
Not sure where/when to stop.

You just never know.

**

Kids

Saw both my daughters last week.

(The occasion was the birth of my third Prince/grandson.  I'll tell you more next time, OK?)

I love my daughters very much. 
The same.  But different.
If you have more than one kid, you'll understand.

I annoy the hell out of one of them. 
OK, both of them, probably.

But one has learned to deal with me.
One hasn't.

But they both try.
And they're both women with huge hearts, lots of smarts and perfect children.

People say I'll be close with both of them.
Again.  Someday.

Maybe. 
Maybe not.

You just never know.

**

Work

Got in trouble.  Again.
For being too much fun.  (In my opinion.)
Not big trouble.  "We need to talk" stuff.


Just ... just ... just ... that square peg in a round hole thing.


Not sure where I belong.  But it's not there. 
Not for the rest of my life.
Please.

Not that I'm ungrateful for my job.  God and my friends know that I am.  It's the truth.  I've been spoiled by having great jobs in the past, that's all.  Not as if I feel I deserve better.

OK.  That's a lie. 
In some ways I believe all workers deserve better.

**

Chess and Life

Maybe this will help explain it.

I enjoy playing chess.

*
No, you don't have to be smart to play. 
No, you don't have to plan your next six moves in advance.

It's a game. 
A game of strategy.
*

Chess has taught me that you can only make one move at a time.
And even your best moves can be countered and ruined by an opponent.

Chess has taught me that you must plan ahead, even when you know your best plans will have to be amended or scrapped at the last minute because of someone else's actions or responses.

Chess has taught me that you cannot reach your dreams in one or two moves.

Chess has taught me that you can reach your dreams; if you don't make too many mistakes; if you're flexible; if you are willing to make sacrifices; and, if you don't give up.

Chess has taught me to make plans.
Chess has taught me to abandon plans when/before they fail.
Chess has taught me to consider new plans.

Because you just never know.

**

Work, Part Two

Meanwhile, back at work...

Returned to my tasks after learning I had [whatevered].
Again.

If I were the type of person to burst into tears, I would have.  Not that anyone was mean or sadistic or [insert the stuff of lousy bosses here].

Just that I need this job.  Semi-desperately.
(I think.)

Plans B-X have failed.  Only Y and Z remain.
I. Am. So. Frustrated.

I have hit up everyone I know to find a better job.  Not a "save $1,000/month and travel for free" job, as I had.  Just a "break-even with my bills" job where I am not constantly reminded I am on the verge of being kicked to the curb.

**

I drive a 20-year-old car with 325,000 miles on it.  Not exactly the Babe-mobile.  Didn't even buy it.  It was a gift from a friend.  Seriously.

I ride a 10-year-old motorcycle with over 50,000 miles on it.
Bought it for $2,000 several years ago.
It's like me: a few dents, scrapes and leaks, but it'll do.

I make 40 cents/hour less than I made two years ago.
I make less per year than I did 25 years ago.
That's regress, not progress.

I'm not saving for retirement.  I'm spending my retirement.  This, friends, is when you make plans to change. 

Mine have not borne fruit.  Yet, anyway.

So, after I was corrected/redirected, I spoke to my friend, LaLa. 

Told her ...  I dunno.  How I simply don't believe the drivel about how God opens a window when all doors are shut ... because that's the nonsense of men and women who do their best to give false hope to people when they don't have a clue what other advice/encouragement to give.

yadda, yadda, yadda

**

Then...

About 15 minutes later, I was on a break. 
The only time I can answer my cell phone.
Phone rings. 

JW.  Wondering if I would mind filling in on his radio station when the afternoon guy goes on vacation.

You just never know.

*

Seriously.

It's not about making plans.
It's about [insert profound, pithy explanation of the meaning of life here].

Things change.

You just never know.

*

Sometimes, as happened to a friend recently, you sell your house in a week.  Sometimes, as is happening to friends today, you cannot sell your house for years.

You just never know.

**

Today

Gonna stop by that radio station this afternoon and have some fun.  Been a couple of years since I helped out on one of their morning shows.  As long as I don't cuss or plead for a date with a stranger, it should go well.

*
Funny.  As I sat down to write this blog, I heard the morning guys mention that I was going to be a guest on the afternoon show.

Radio was part of my life for decades.  Wasn't even weird to hear my name mentioned today.  Didn't get all proud because I know how easy it is to be fired or laid off or whatever.
*

Glenn

Did I ever tell you about Glenn, a guy I worked with at a rock station 33 years ago?

Deepest voice that chain smoking can produce.  Nice guy.

Pleasantly smiled as he talked, but not like goofy dweebs who foolishly believe that's how sports announcers should speak.

The last week Glenn worked at our insignificant AM/FM in New York's wine country, he didn't want to tell his followers he was leaving.

On Monday, he never gave a hint.  On Tuesday, he made a vague reference to something he was going to say later in the week.  Wednesday, he played it cool.  Thursday, he was more overt about it being great to have worked at the station. 

On Friday, he spilled the guts.  Said how much he enjoyed all his friends who listened so faithfully for years.  About how much he meant to them and how much they meant to him.

No one called.

Then Glenn went back on the air and said it again.  Slower.  More clearly.  An emotional goodbye.  Turned off his mike.

Leaned back and waited for the calls to pour in ...
begging him to stay
wishing him well
offering to go with him
suggesting he should stop by before departing
telling him they're going to set fire to their now-worthless radios.

Not
one
person
called.

That is something I shall never -- never -- forget.

That's why today is simply a day more cool than most.  Not a portal to a new life.

But you just never know.
:~)

***

Imagine how foolish it would be to make plans based on a couple of hours on the air with friends.

Hasn't even happened yet.

I will not allow it to make me [more] unhappy with my real job.
I will not allow it to make me proud if/when people flatter me.
I will not allow it to make me believe I should be rich and famous.

Probably.

You just never know.

**

The Future

Gotta earn a living.
Gotta make more money.
Gotta not lose my job.

Gotta take care of myself for the rest of my life.
Gotta take care of my kids and grandchildren for the rest of my life and beyond.

Gotta replace my car, my refrigerator, my kitchen floor, blah, blah, blah.

Gotta make plans.
Gotta give up on plans.

Gotta depend more on others.
Gotta depend less on others.

Gotta depend more on God.
Period.

"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord.  "Plans for welfare and not for calamity; to give you a future and a hope."  (Somewhere in the Book of Jeremiah, from memory.)

**

Dreams

Could I become rich and famous (again) because I'll be on the radio today?
Sure, but I doubt it.

Could I become rich and famous because of my blogging?
Sure, but I doubt it.

Could I pass out at work and be carried out by EMTs, like my friend?
Sure, but I hope not.

Could I muddle through the remainder of my days, not achieving my dreams ... but living a life of gratitude and thankfulness anyway?
Yes.

Could I love again?
Perhaps *be* loved again?
Sure.

Could I die in the next few minutes?
Sure.

You just never know.

**

What You Can Know

The goodness and faithfulness of God.

That's for certain.  Always and forever.

God might have me languish in prison for a crime I didn't commit, as with Joseph in the Book of Genesis.  (Begin reading at chapter 36.)

God might bless me with riches, wisdom and wives (I'm in the advanced stages of that one now), as He did with Solomon.

God might ask me to sacrifice my life for His sake, as He has for eons with zillions of dedicated believers.

You just never know.

*

So, hang on. 
Hope for the best.  Deal with the worst. 
Give it all you got.

And revel in God's love through Jesus Christ.
Forever.