Hi.
Hope you are well.
Believe it or not, I’m on my back deck. In the sun. Just about 75 degrees, light breeze. Most everybody’s idea of a perfect day.
Gonna hop on The Bike and meet my Princesses later for dinner.
***
Things Change
Still learning not to get all freaked out because it *seems* something crappy might happen.
Yesterday, for example.
Was subpoenaed to testify at my former boss’s unemployment appeal. At least it was by phone.
Cannot/will not/should not reveal too much. You never know what will wind up on the Internet, y’know?
Dreaded yesterday. Up a lot the night before. Killer farts and tummy turmoil. Hardly slept. Stayed home from work and mended myself.
Never got the call from/about the hearing.
Life’s like that.
Today is the 40th anniversary of my 21st birthday and I’m still not bright enough to not worry about what *might* happen.
My point? Learn from my mistakes.
Or end up as stupid as me.
Your choice.
***
Little League
Saw one of the [I detest references to luck] most fortunate kids in America
He was wearing a spotless baseball uniform. My guess is he was on his way to practice. The Player was getting into a truck with a man.
These days aren’t like when I grew up. Back then, it’d be a no-brainer that the guy was his dad. Now? Unlikely, I guess.
So many fractured/blended/skronked families.
But I’ll pretend he’s from a peaceful, loving intact family, if you will.
At the very least this kid is fortunate to have a man in his life. That’s cool.
Women make great mothers. So do some men.
Men make great fathers. No mother can be a great father, imho.
Takes a man to raise a man. Takes a mother to raise a lady.
Takes God to heal us when people fail us.
***
What I’ve Learned
Simple. I’ve learned that God is gracious, loving and merciful.
God is WAY nicer than you think.
Love that verse repeated so often in the Old Testament by so many key figures:
“The Lord is compassionate and gracious; slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.”
I’m learning to trust what I know is the truth.
Too bad it’s still hard.
Learn from my mistakes.
Or repeat them.
Your choice.
***
Kids
Love them.
Don’t let them define your existence. The deal is they’re supposed to grow up and grow away. If you do your job as a parent, they’re not supposed to need you.
If you’re fortunate, they might want you; but adults need to not need their parents too much. Appreciate? Sure. Love? Sure. Stay close? Sure.
But healthy kids grow up and grow away.
imho
When I married a woman with two kids at home, my pastor told me to not get upset if the kids told me they hated me. Said even his kids said that to him … as mine have to me … and as yours probably have to you.
Kids get to be kids. Parents expect kids to be more mature than they are themselves.
How stupid is that?
The best you can expect is for five-year-olds to act like five-year-olds. Same goes for kids seven, nine and 17.
Be nice to your kids. God might bless you by allowing you to hold their kids someday. It’s worth it all.
What have I learned about kids?
Spend more time finding something they do right than bitching about what they do wrong.
Take it or leave it.
The difference between being on the lookout for faults and rewarding good behavior isn’t a mind game or psychobabble.
Ask *any* grandparent.
***
Work
What have I learned about work?
Let’s start with: get a job.
Even if it’s a crummy job.
Working is good for you.
Even if you don’t get a lot of money, praise, benefits, satisfaction.
Learn from everyone. Be kind.
If you are a Christian, you know the verse about doing your work with all your heart, as unto God.
That’s why members of the Shaker sect have the chairs they made on display in the Smithsonian. Their work was an act of worship. They took it seriously.
What have I learned?
Do a good job, even if you have a crummy job.
It will enhance your character and [insert the astute observations of superior writers here].
My mother was right. She made me get a paper route when I was a kid.
No way to describe that job to young people today. Like describing the smell of mimeograph paper to tekkies.
Lemme take a stab at it anyway.
In the town where I grew up (Rochester , NY
Every afternoon I went straight home from school. Waited for my papers to be delivered hot off the presses. Then I put the daily inserts (if there were any) into each paper. Once that was done, I carried 60 0r 70 papers in my canvas shoulder bag, rolling them into tubes that I could throw with some precision onto the steps of my customers in my extended neighborhood.
There was no excuse for late deliveries if it rained, snowed or whatever. If the paper got wet, I had to replace it at my own expense. If a paper ended up in the bushes, my customers complained and I got in trouble for poor service.
If the paper blew away in a hurricane, I had to go back out and deliver another one.
Then once a week I had to collect payment from my customers. Most were great. Some were lying snakes who either didn’t pay, lied about having already paid or tried to squeak out of giving me the money for services/goods delivered.
Had to outrun dogs, put some papers inside back doors/side doors/front doors under this or behind that. My customers had their papers delivered their way.
On time.
When I was unable to do my “route” it was up to me to find a substitute. Someone who did exactly what I was told had to be done. And I personally paid my replacements to put papers right where they were supposed to go … on time.
And I was rich. Richer than ever.
Probably made $12-15/week when a Coke was a nickel or a dime. Lucky Strike cigarettes were 20 cents, I remember that.
Been working ever since.
What have I learned?
Didn’t want to go to work today. If I called in sick, I could have used a sick day and been paid. Didn’t.
Went to work. My boss said, “What are you doing here? Are you on the schedule?” Five minutes later I had the day off with her blessing.
And I retained my self-respect and dignity.
God did that, imho.
What else have I learned about work?
Show up. Do your best. If you don’t like your job, get a better one.
But earn your pay.
Be honest. Don’t lie to your employer and *never* lie for them.
And be thankful you have a job.
**
Worked for one company for 15 years before being fired one day.
After that, 100 more people were ignominiously blown out.
Earlier this month another 50 or so were “let go.”
Fewer than 20 people remain.
Glad I departed before God did.
**
**
What have I learned?
How long you have your job is partially up to you, but mostly up to God.
You can find another one, usually. Even a crummy one ... until something better comes along.
***
Priorities
What have I learned about priorities?
That even on a perfect day on your back deck, when you would rather write than anything else, do NOT blow the opportunity to spend time with your beloved child and grandchildren.
So, I’m off.
***
God is good.
Even if no one else is.
The God you might not believe in will accept you whenever you’re ready.
Waste your life in the meantime or not.
Your choice.
Choose wisely
.
.
God’s ways are flawless.
If not pain-free.
Accept His love.
That’s my advice.
Take it or leave.
May God bless your life and mine in this coming year.
Gotta go.
Wanna go.
Blessings.
