Ancient
Unpublished?
It is now.
Happy that I am so much happier.
God kept His word and provided for me. Again. As always.
Hi.
Hope you are well.
Some people are, you know. You could be too.
Just as soon as...
***
Reversion to the Unmean
So disappointed in myself for getting so far from who I want to be.
Hope I bottomed out. Time will tell.
Got so tired of trying. Got so tired of failing. Got so tired of caring.
Got so tired of waiting for God to pick me up, brush me off, hug me and make life perfect.
Yes, I know that's it's typical for a person going through a stressful time to wax/wane through Shock, Denial, Bargaining and Anger before coming to Resolution/Acceptance.
Doesn't mean it's easy.
**
Been out of work almost 10 weeks.
Even when you expect to be fired, it's still a Shock. Was to me anyway.
Never struggled with Denial. Hard to deny being unemployed when you have no job to do.
Think I dealt with Bargaining by letting friends know I was out of work. Did what I could to spread the word that my successful pals had the slendid opportunity to hire another one of their many unemployed acquaintances.
But when it came to Anger, I was spectacular. I can do anger.
Can't fix much stuff around the house.
Hate gardening.
Not bad with kids.
Snarky at times, but a gentleman with the ladies.
Pretty good on The Bike.
Not bad as an editor.
Enjoy writing.
Love travel.
But expressing anger in the past couple of weeks? Award-winning performances.
Honked at just about everybody. Literally and virturally.
Random, floating anger bombs scored direct hits on a couple of friends and many people in traffic.
"It's good to let out your anger!"
Yeah, but it's better to control your emotions and not let them control you.
**
I boast about being a child of God. A God who can do anything.
Except control His out-of-control children at times.
Until He decides enough is enough.
"For whom the Lord loves He disciplines, even as a father, the son in whom he delights," (Proverbs 3:12).
An angry life is an ugly life.
Especially when you believe I/you/we have the right to inflict y/our wrath upon others. We don't have that right.
Nor do we have the right to demand forgiveness when we fail.
***
Thank God that episode is over.
At least until next time.
***
