Hope you're well.
Been a long time, huh?
This will be my first post since July ... when I wrote Dad's eulogy.
(pause)
(pause)
I am not deluded enough to believe that your life has been worse off due to the absence of my rambling, but I thought I'd take time on a frigidly sunny day in Georgia to tell you that I am well.
Very well, thank you.
Life After Dad
A good writer could express to you the relief I feel that I rode Grasshopper, the humble ninja, to Chattanooga to hang out with Dad on the day before Father's Day 2012.
We cheerfully went to a local steakhouse (in his car). We cheerfully ate our fill of peanuts, steak, salad, tea and/or Diet Coke. We cheerfully chatted.
Afterward, Dad and I cheerfully parted.
That night he died.
***
Roughly 99% of the people in my life believe that's how they'd want to go, if they make it to the age of 91. A few people think my Last Supper with Dad was too much for his frail condition and hastened his demise.
**
Dad traveled the world. Weeks on safari in Africa and all around that continent. The Great Wall of China. Europe. Fancy cruises from Sidney to Singapore and from someplace else to Rio, via the Panama Canal. He actually sent me a postcard from Bora Bora. He not only went to places you and I will never see, he knew the best restaurants in town. Not the most snooty or most expensive, mind you. Just the most fun.
As I've written before, Dad didn't own shoes or a suitable suit. His abode had no heat or air conditioning.
Dad drove an old beat-up, paintless car that 1) broke down or 2) I broke on several occasions on Tantalus Drive ... overlooking his condo on the edge of the Pacific in Honolulu.
His condo didn't need heat or A/C. If it got warm, he opened the sliding glass door to his bugless lanai/porch. When it got chilly, he shut the sliding door. A big trip meant firing up his old Caddy to go to Costco or down to his redneck yacht club, within sight of his condo ... and the world's most gorgeous sunsets over the horizon from paradise.The view from Tantalus Drive now overlooks Dad's final resting place at Punchbowl.
Dad lived it up.
**
For years -- since my brother and I viciously drug Dad's butt back to the icy depths of Tennessee, for better healthcare and to be closer to family -- Dad and I would hang out a weekend or two each month. Our dates always included a nice meal at a place of his choice/approval.
Everybody understood that Dad's normal diet consisted of 1) a whiff of real food and 2) a plate of healthy food lovingly prepared by his almost-daughter, my sister-in-law. When I came, Dad got whatever he wanted. We didn't just break his diet, we danced on it, kicked sand in its face and called it names.
Our Last Supper was no different. Except for the fact that it was our Last Supper.
**
So. Are visions of gazillion dollar bills dancing in your head? An opulent inheritance, perhaps?
Nope. But when you expect nothing, anything is plenty.
If you were almost 63 and your life savings equalled mine, you'd jump out a window, thinking that was your only hope.
Ha! Who needs money? I'm in love!
Trying to share some with my girls. As a beloved mentor used to say, "Do your giving while you're living. Then you're knowing where it's going."
I've splurged on business & personal trips. A dandy camera for my work. An AT&T Microcell for my house, so that my fancy AT&T phone actually works here. I bought Dad's 2004 Honda Accord. It's what they call "a sweet ride." And an alarm system for the house when I'm away.
Life is not better without Dad. Life is not better driving a car with 150,000 miles on the odometer, instead of one with 340,000 miles.
Sure, I can enjoy what I used to call "recreational" glasses of milk without guilt. And I am more willing to give tips.
But ever since that Friday afternoon a couple of years ago when I called the folks who managed my IRAs and re-invested the majority of my retirement money into mutual funds -- carefully chosen -- I have learned that money is fleeting. The following Monday morning, the stock market tanked, unexpectedly. Hasn't been that high since.
Who knew?
Solomon: "For wealth certainly makes itself wings and flies like an eagle toward the heavens."
So be it.
I will share what I have. Enjoy what I have. Save some of what I have. And have no trust in what I have ... only in the God who has allowed me to have what I have.
**
I'll always remember the man I met who was a career scientist. Earned a zillion dollars. Squeezed every dime. Lived a frugal existence. Saved for retirement. Drove an old car. Finally sold the old car to a young kid. The kid had an accident. If I remember correctly, a fatal accident. All of a sudden, a bunch of people were suing the scientist for everything he owned ... or could borrow.
As a friend says, don't hold on too tightly.
We need what God has ... more than what we have.
***
Suzannah
Still in love. Still delighted. Still connecting, long-distance, morning, noon and night.
Did I tell you I have seen Suzannah several times since July?
**
Back when I had a radio talk show in my hometown, I thought I had the best job in the world. After I lost that job, I thought being the morning man at a Christian station for several years was the best job ever. Working for 15 years in media relations later became the best job after I left radio. Now, writing for a couple of recreational websites -- including one devoted to the Appalachian Trail -- is by far my best job ever.
**
When I travel to the Appalachian Trail (AT), it's a business trip because I post stories and pictures on the Internet. My latest coolest job takes me to festivals along the AT and to minor and major landmarks between GA and Maine.
On several trips, Suzannah has been at my side (except for separate rooms the one time we were on the road overnight).
We travel well together. She is a blessing. I am a blessing to her. We do well together and God uses us to bless one another. We. Love. One. Another.
Since July we've been to twelve states together, from Georgia to Maine.
*
Yes, we've had a fight. Big one.
The breakup kind.
Endured. Both realized we're worth the effort, trust and hope.
Both thankful we made that decision.
**
We've been connected for more than a year. We are amazed -- and a bit proud -- at how God has answered so many of our prayers. For ourselves and for others.
Is everything perfect? Nope. (So, how are things in your relationships? Perfect?)
How do you think the average guy 16-22 would react to seeing his mother get goofy over a guy like me who lives 1,000 miles away?
Her kids are pretty normal.
Suzannah's extended family and friends are delightful. Not a clunker in the bunch. They've all been wonderful to me.
Yeah, it's complicated. But totally worth it.
Just gonna take time.
And the blessing of God.
**
In Sunday School this morning, a lady in front of me turned around and spoke to the guy next to me (her father). She got all snarky because her dad didn't tell her that the class had moved from one room to another since she last attended. She was late getting to class. Blamed it on him. Gave her father The Look of Death. And felt he deserved it. In public. In Sunday School.
Nasty people are just so ... nasty. sheesh
Brought to mind the Bible verse, "There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus."
Brought to mind the words I often add, "except from your family."
**
I figure the Intruder Alerts will be fewer and farther between in the future. But, as long as Suzannah and I do not count one another as intruders, we'll endure.
****
2012
Big year for me, work-wise.
A patient gentleman kindly taught me how to use WordPress to post my writing on his websites. I have earned enough trust to post what I feel is in his best interests. The sites' readership and income have risen to record levels. We are thankful.
Earlier in the year, a friend asked me to review a book that he and his team had worked on sporadically for several years.
*
Not to be nasty, but it was a mess.
When collectors rebuild classic cars, the first thing they do is take them all apart. Right down to the basic frame.
We did that with this book.
Took it down to "What is the theme of this chapter? What is the key point in this chapter? What do you want people to take away from this chapter?"
We went back to "What is a sentence? What is a paragraph? What is a chapter?"
Many times I felt I was being too critical ... too picky. Most times I knew you cannot put new paint on a rusty car that needs engine and electrical work and think that a new shine cures fundamental problems.
*
The book ultimately hit the Amazon bestseller list. Not because of my unique input, but because our team did not settle for mediocrity ... even if it meant starting over again on some parts.
Solomon: "The precious possession of a man is diligence."
****
During 2012, a few loved ones vanished; returned; were ill; foreclosed upon; in the hospital; prospered; were a blessing; were a pain in the ass; were in need; provided for my needs; rejoiced and/or wept with me.
I "retired" this year. I draw early retirement that supplements my part-time writing income.
My COBRA health insurance expired this past week. Now I have catastrophic coverage. I'll be fine, as long as my medical needs are superficial wounds caused by meteor fragments while riding on public transportation on odd days that do not have a "T" in the day's name, unless the injury comes as part of a war or insurrection ... or if I am committing a felony.
What could possibly go wrong?
****
2013
By God's grace, I'll continue writing content for the sites I'm now serving.
Goal: To get paid to travel and write for additional clients.
By God's grace, I'll be able to be a part of my daughters' lives and see my five grandchildren grow up to be godly men and princesses.
By God's grace, I hope to be with Suzannah on a more consistent basis. We are made for each other.
By God's grace, I hope to have fewer debts at the end of 2013.
By God's grace, I will try to lose weight in 2013.
By God's grace, I'll continue to go to church, work on Bible memorization with Suzannah, witness God's answers to prayer and not screw up my life too awfully.
By God's grace, if things don't turn out the way you hope they will during 2013, you'll know that I will pray for you. Even if you don't believe in God or have a lick of faith. By God's grace, I'll have enough faith in God for both of us to see Him make things better and work it all for good.
By God's grace, we'll be safe from harm this year.
By God's grace, I'll be faithful to God ... no matter what.
By God's grace, God will be gracious to us in 2013, as He has in the past.
Please do not let 2013 be the year you give up.
It's all going to work out. Some things simply take time.
Y'know?
Happy New Year!
