Hi.
Hope you’re well.
Been a while. But that’s OK. Better to bother you too little than too much. Guess there are a couple of reasons why I haven’t blogged all that much recently.
Discovered the wit of a master twitterer whose tweets are sweet, Badbanana. My guess is you and I could not buy a better team of writers to come up with the stuff he commonly posts.
I was also – how shall I put this? – reminded by a non-friend at work to be cautious of what I post on this blog, Facebook and Twitter. Perhaps my facial expression told him/her to go to hell, even if the words went unsaid.
Maybe it’s because I’m getting old [currently listening to Pandora’s “Robin Bullock” channel: Crossing The Causeway / Icehouse by Wagtail], but I am less inclined to whine about the vicious vicissitudes of my various kith and kin.
Although I hate to admit it, there’s really nothing much to write about. Call it humility, I dunno. Just that I don’t perceive pondering my life is of any more value than pondering your own. Y’know?
However, not being one who opts for quietness when there’s a chance to open my mouth … I’ll take a crack at another blog forthwith.
[Travis by Myer/Fleck/Marshall]
Words to Live By
OK. So something interesting did happen. I won’t guess when because I’m always wrong, but it was within the past couple of weeks.
(stumped as to how to tell you this, sorry)
Had a spat with a family member. (Imagine THAT?) Had a few words. In spite of how well “things” had been previously, this particular person said I’d never see her or her family again. Again.
Felt bad that it didn’t hurt me as much as all the other times the same sentence was pronounced. Any number of reasons why. You get hardened or you die is one. Not crazy enough to believe it’s all my fault is another. A biggie is at my age it’s better not to beg people to stay in your life if that’s not what they want. We’re all going to let go of everybody else sooner or later, no need to drag people along if they’d prefer to be elsewhere.
(No, I do not mean you should walk out on the creep/creepette you think you married. Vows mean something. Or they should.)
Thought about taking steps to cut a few of the ties/courtesies that I had extended; short- and long-term. God told me not to return evil for evil or insult for insult – not that I am innocent of perpetrating my share of evil and/or insults, mind you.
But fights must/should stop somewhere.
**
I’m 61. I write. I think. I ponder.
God is a large part of my life, especially in trials.
While struggling with how to respond, even indirectly, I knew I would do no evil.
God also made it clear that I should not return any perceived evil – to anyone, ever.
Then it all came together. My motto. My personal creed. A combination of God’s Word and the ancient (?) motto of my family’s clan.
“Do no evil. Return no evil. Fear no evil.”
Can’t tell you how much those simple words mean to me. So many bumps in life can be smoothed by adhering to them.
Have you words that you choose/attempt to live by?
If not, I’ll share mine with you.
***
Latest Badbanana tweet: “Stop judging. We’re all just sixty million dollars, thirty porn stars, and one ton of crack away from being Charlie Sheen.”
NOW do you see why I don’t believe my stuff can capture your eyes and heart as well as stuff from other writers?
[Bagmati Flood Medley by Tara Linhardt]
[Between Earth and Sky by Robin Bullock]
***
[Police Dog Blues by Etta James]
Did I tell you I killed my TV? Fabulous decision.
Not that I wanted to, really. Just awoke to the realization my cable company wanted me to work several weeks a year just to pay them. Seriously. Do you pay them $100/month? Figure out how much that is before taxes annually and divide your hourly wage into the amount. Then, shoot your TV.
I listen to WAY more music than before. (Hence the notations in this blog, for example.) [Take These Hands by Paul Johnson] If you enjoy acoustic guitar, be brave and listen to one or two online.
***
The Difference Between God and My Motorcycle Mechanic
The Bike is in the shop. Gonna cost hundreds of dollars. Life isn’t the same without it. But I’ll survive, even if The Bike doesn’t. [Lady’s Fantasy by Dan Crary]
Gonna take at least nine days for diagnosis, surgery and maintenance.
God created the universe in a week, including His day off.
There’s no other bike I’d rather have. Not like I crave a Harley or a Goldwing or a sportbike, although I wouldn’t shrug off a Kawasaki Concours.
Thought about going up to the mountains in the car today to find a spot to write … somewhere amidst nature … away from incivility’s din … a secluded, protected place where I could be alone with you.
Stayed home. Writing on the deck. Savoring the sounds of the birds and the breeze. Watching two chameleons romp and frolic in a genetic dance stunningly similar to match-dot-comers on a first date.
***
That’s another change in my life. Signed up for match.com.
Came up with a cute online name.
Wrote a clever bio.
Posted a couple of as-flattering-as-can-be pictures of myself.
Found out I had to *pay* to be on the site.
Never followed through.
What would I do with a woman? Seriously.
I don’t have time to mow my lawn.
My work schedule changes weekly. I don’t get home until some nights. I work weekends and holidays, and one weekend a month I care for my dad.
Not to mention that I am broke.
**
Oh. Reminds me.
Took an 18% pay cut recently when I transferred to a position at work that is humanly possible to accomplish. Needed to make the switch for multiple reasons – among them health, sanity, and my predilection to eating, wearing clothes and living indoors.
Told God, “OK. My pay – less than half of what we made a few years ago and not enough to pay the bills – just went down by 18%. Let’s see You get us out of *this* mess.”
God (who is kinder than you) pulled off one of His marvelously simple solutions. After filing my taxes this year, I noticed that I wasn’t claiming any deductions on my W-4. Changed the deduction from zero to one. Yup. That did it.
You don’t think that was God, right? If not, that’s the difference between my life/faith and yours. God finds ways. Even ones that would seem obvious to others.
*
Like the time I was in divorce court with one friend at my side for moral support. My earthly adversary had a pride of benevolent lions at her side. The proceedings only went that far because she would not recant her charge that I treated her cruelly. I had accepted all other terms to the divorce, including returning the candles in our refrigerator that were on the list of items she wanted back.
Divorce me. Reject me. Hate me. But if you lie about me, I will confront you.
So we’re in court.
I was outgunned, outsmarted and out of hope.
I felt doomed.
Then the presiding judge said the judge who was scheduled to be the presiding judge couldn’t be there. The replacement judge said there wasn’t enough time to fart around behind closed doors, so all the arguments would take place in open court – in front of everybody. No hidden crap. I’d have the opportunity to defend myself in public.
Wasn’t five minutes later I had a notarized statement that the charges were dropped. (Yes, I can provide you with a copy.)
[Butterfly by Aureole Trio]
*
God doesn’t need to use identical weapons to win a fight. Therefore, neither do Christians. In my opinion, Christians don’t even have to have faith to believe it will be done, nor do they have to offer suggestions about how God should do this or that, aka "prayer."
All it requires is the willingness to ask God for deliverance and the patience to watch it happen – without screwing it all up by trying to fix it yourself.
Do no evil. Return no evil. Fear no evil.
***
The way to have hope for the future is to reflect on God’s kindness in the past.
***
Been giving some thought to writing about my earlier days. Where I was. How I got there. Who I got there with. Where I went next and who I met when I arrived.
Maybe next time, OK?
Blessings.
[Her Scattered Gold by Robin Williamson]
Robear
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