Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow: Pick One

Hi.

It's a nice afternoon and I wanna go for a ride on The Bike, so I'm gonna skip all the fluffy crap.

If I stop caring about how you are, I'll let you know.  I just don't have time to say it all again.  OK?

Good.


***


Church

Went to church this morning.  Heard my favorite preacher/example of Jesus tell us all to turn to "Ezra."

Thought ... Cool!  That's the name of one of my four grandsons -- and one of the two I get to hold.

*

Back years ago, I had a Bible study on the radio at 2 AM.  Yup, live.  Five days a week.  Used to preach a lot.  Led Bible studies.  Believed and preached every word of it.

Still believe it all.
Stopped preaching when the words were dishonored by my life.

Used to read and study the Bible two hours a day.  Even with little kids around.  That was the deal.  Worked at a Bible bookstore in exchange for reference books.  Read them.  Cover to cover.  Great big suckers.  Knew Albert Barnes, Matthew Henry and William Hendriksen and John Calvin and Adam Clarke as friends and companions.

Heard that Billy Graham used to read 10 chapters of the Bible a day.  Tried it myself for a year.  Read through the Old Testament three times and the New Testament twice.  Always read a chapter of Proverbs daily (and taught it on Sunday).  I was "in the Word" as they say.

So today.  Preacher says "Turn, if you will (why do they always SAY that?) in your Bibles to Ezra!"

Could not find it. 
Yes, I was using the big black Bible that I don't use very much.

Usually I stick with the red one that elucidates on the Greek verb tenses and specific nouns used in various passages.  It was a gift.  Even has my name imprinted in gold on the cover.

Who gave it to me?

An unnamed totally conservative very Christian Bible school and radio network based in Chicago. 

The occasion?  I was invited to be on what they called their Affiliate Advisory Board because of my work in Christian radio.  Quite an honor.  And a free Bible too.

Christian radio is long gone but I still love that Bible ... and many of the friends I met through that ministry.

**

So, I went to the index of my big black Bible to locate what page Ezra is/was on.  Finally found it.  There, right before verse one, was a list of ten dates when I read Ezra, as I read through the Bible over the years.  And I didn't always write the dates down.  And I used other Bibles.

And today ... I could not find Ezra.

sheesh

Talk about erosion.

***

Joining

Been going to the same church for over seven years.  Happily.  I've only missed a few Sundays, except for times I've cared for Dad or been away.

Sit in the back row.  Right in the middle.  Try to be nice to people who visit The Back Row.  Usually they're people who try to skulk in/out, unaware that The Token Hippie is gonna grab them and actually SPEAK to them and ask them WHO THEY ARE ... and that he'd like them to come back!

Mmmmuuuwahahahaha!

My pastor (MP) wants me to join the church.
But I'm not much of a joiner.

I pop the church a few bucks from time to time.
I narrate the annual fun thingy the men perform for the ladies.
I go to Sunday School and don't clog up good parking places with The Bike.

Hardly ever hit on the married women.

(Oh, lighten up.  I'm just teasing.)

Believe it or not, part of why I love this church is because they DON'T have a singles group.  Sure, there are a few single women here and there.  But that's normal.  Single women are everywhere.  Even in churches.

Seriously.
Yes, even nice ones.
As pretty and smart as women in
SURPRISE
bars.

But what do I know?  I don't go to bars.

**

sheesh
where was I?

Oh, yeah.  Joining the church.

**

Told MP I really didn't wanna join.

Didn't tell him why.

Guess I can tell you.  No one ever reads these blogs anyway.

I could even tell you about the time one ex-wife wore a garter belt to church and scrunched her leg up against mine, just to tease me.  In church.

But I wouldn't write about that. 
Probably get sued. 

Even though GOD was there
and HE knows the truth.

**

Where was I?

Oh, yeah.

Joining the church.

**

The last time I joined a church it didn't go all that well.

OK.  It went badly.

OK.  A church went from growing and healthy to being transformed into a damn office building because of me.

Talk about shame.

*

I taught Sunday School.  Preached there once in awhile.  An ex (yes, I have flocks of them) taught Sunday School.

My at-the-time wife felt it was "God's will" to divorce me.
This is America.  That's as good a reason as any.

To make a long story short (and to keep my ass from being sued), let's just say she and I ... and the leaders of the church ... and the pastor and his wife ...

well, let's just say that ...

we weren't of "one mind" on whether she and/or I should continue teaching Sunday School during our separation/divorce.

Yeah, let's put it that way.

Sounds WAY better than "all hell broke loose."
Even though that's far more accurate, imho.

**

The last time I saw the pastor from that old church was when he was a witness against me in that particular divorce.

The last time I saw the leaders from that old church was when they were witnesses for me in that particular divorce.

Oh .... God.

I. Wanted. To. Build. Churches.
Not destroy them.

But, evidently, God even forgives people like me.
He said, by faith.

**

Cannot see any way that joining my current church would result in the same annihilation, but why take a chance?

Y'know?

***

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Yesterday

Sucks. 

Coming up on the seventh anniversary of losing my real job.  Spent half the time since, working.  Spent about half the time since, not working.

(That's called "logic."  Cool, huh?)

Used to make about $5k/month.  Four weeks regular vacation.  Ten personal days.  Probably another 15 days off annually when the office was closed.  Sick days.  Whatever days.  And I traveled on business another four or five weeks a year.  Nice job. 

A "make a difference for eternity" job.
Not a "force more people to buy something they cannot afford and don't want" job.

That was then.

*

Today

I'm happy.  Fed.  Tremendously healthy.  Money in the bank.  A good enough citizen to be called for jury duty tomorrow.  Not afraid to look a cop, stranger, ex-wife or child right in the eyes.  Got nothing to hide.

Just don't have a job.  Or many friends.  Or the love of a woman.

*

Tomorrow

Sucks.

Gonna run out of money.
Health insurance is gonna run out.
Who's gonna hire a guy in his 60s?
Can't afford my big house.

Someday ... I'll get sick and need to see a doctor.
Someday ... Israel and [insert name of country that wants Israel gone here] will go to war.

Someday ... the American economy will melt down. There will be riots.

Someday ... I'll be weary of a loveless life ... and I'll miss not seeing my grandchildren ... and I'll wonder about the value of my life ... compared to my hopes and dreams.

Someday ... I might settle for [insert something I should not settle for here] and regret it.  Again.

*
Today, Part II

But today...
today
I am well.

Better than I was in the past.
Better than I will be in the future.

So, I'm just gonna enjoy today
and do what I can do to make the future brighter

and tell the past to go to hell
because I cannot do anything about it.

Yup.  Today, I'm gonna enjoy today.

And I plan to enjoy tomorrow too.

Because tomorrow will be better than the worst of the past
and better than the worst of the future.

That's the deal.
That's why today is pretty cool.

I choose to live life ... today!

Which means, it's time for a ride on The Bike.

Happy Trails!

And may all your todays be bright.

Adios